Hiatus

Okay, I know that doesn't start with a T... :) But it's what I will need to do for a little bit. Being a homeschool mom to two kiddos has got me on my toes, with little time to spare. I'm going to post things intermittently, so keep checking for new stuff!! Hopefully soon!! ♥️

Sparrow

It was right there on the camp schedule, proud to be the next activity for the day. I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this." Shoving the itinerary into my back pocket, I slowly walked toward the bird trail. Each day was tightly planned, from the blast of the trumpet in the morning (talk about jumping five feet in the air in a sleeping bag!) to the lights literally out at bedtime. It was probably set up that way to keep us campers out of trouble. Most of what the camp counselors had planned was fun. Canoeing in the nearby river, swimming with the girls in my group (no boys allowed!), hiking the trails. Even the food was good. But this... this was too much to ask. 

I closed my eyes and saw it again: Birdwatching. I sighed. It wasn't that I didn't like birds. They're pretty, and they have feathers, and they fly. Something I always secretly wished I could do. But to watch them for an hour, and keep track of each different one?? I shivered a little at this thought, but headed to the trail anyway, the list of birds in my hand. 

I can't remember if there was a sparrow on that list, but I would venture to say no. They are not like the cardinal, beautiful in all it's red glory. Or the blue jay, with it's regal tuft of feathers on its head. Or even the robin, that signifies spring when the winter has been so long and cold. Sparrows are ordinary, most are brown, and back in Jesus' day, they weren't worth much. When the poor needed an animal for sacrifice, or even food, sparrows were available for just a couple pennies. 

But God loves His sparrows. He knows their real value, and to Him they are precious. So precious that when one dies, He knows the moment they fall to the ground. He doesn't see them as cheap or plain. When He looks at His sparrows, He sees beauty and worth. 

When He looks at you and I, He sees even more than He sees in His sparrows. We are made in His image. He is our family, our greatest Ally, our closest Friend And His love for us? Powerful, unfathomable. Beyond words.

God created His sweet little sparrow. And He lovingly crafted you and I, His greatest of creations. 

"And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:30-31

Resurrection

Peter, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times. Jesus' words still burned in his heart. He was so shocked when Jesus first told him this, because he would have laid down his life for Him. But then, when the time came, he actually did deny his Lord! Three days had gone by since Peter had renounced Jesus, three days since Jesus' cruel death, and Peter still felt the guilt and shame inside as though it were yesterday. He could not look his fellow disciples and friends in the eye, but neither could they look at him. They all felt ashamed for leaving Jesus during His most crucial time of need. 

And, to add salt to the already festering wound, Jesus' body was gone! Peter saw with his own eyes the empty tomb, laid bare except for the carefully folded strips of linen and cloths that had been previously wrapped around Jesus. Where is He? He wondered. Fragments of what Jesus had said in the past came to him: The disciples would no longer see Him, and then they would see Him again. When? What does all this mean? Mary Magdalene shared with Peter that she saw an angel, and even Jesus alive, at the empty tomb but that was just pure foolishness. Peter was sure that her grief was too overwhelming for her to handle. 

"Peace be with you." Peter jumped, his jumbled thoughts momentarily forgotten as he, along with his fellow disciples, turned toward the voice. Peter couldn't believe his eyes! It was Jesus! And He was smiling, stretching out His hands and feet so they could see His scars. It was true, He was alive! Peter laughed aloud, his joy overflowing. His Jesus had been resurrected, and he couldn't help but rejoice in His presence.

For Peter's sake, Jesus' resurrection was twofold. Peter was so excited to be able to share with the world the gospel story of Jesus, the One he loved and followed with all his heart. Peter also felt the redeeming power of grace on his life. Jesus made sure Peter knew there was nothing that would separate His love for him, not even Peter's denial of Jesus. Jesus' love for Peter was so strong, He was able to overlook what Peter did. He never for a second turned his back on Peter, or left him to flounder on his own. He was right there to hold him up, love him, and comfort his soul. And because of the grace of his Savior, Peter was able to joyfully spread the wonderful news of the never-ending love of Jesus.

Quiet

There is an amazing sense of stillness when it comes to sitting in a deer stand right before the sun comes up. That is, when my husband and I aren't goofing off, or being slap happy due to lack of sleep. The quiet is beautiful right before the birds wake and the squirrels are not scurrying around yet. There might be an owl hooting off in the distance, but the stillness of everything else is calming, and intense at the same time. As I watch the darkness turn to a soft gray, I always sit on the edge of my seat. Not just for the deer (although that is ALWAYS a bonus!) but because it's the exact moment when there's silence. Quiet. The night animals have already trudged off to bed, and the morning sits for just a few seconds. The woods are almost bursting at the seams, ready to wake up, and I absolutely love it. 

Quiet is not one of my best qualities. When I need to be quiet, I most always run into something, my stomach will rumble, or I'll make an involuntary sound with my mouth.  Even when I tiptoe, I somehow accidentally step on the loudest thing possible. I just can't seem to get the quiet thing down.

Same thing happens when it comes to praying. I just talk and talk and talk. It makes me wonder... am I having a conversation with God, or just with myself? I'm so guilty of the one-sided conversations with Him, content to get my piece said, and be on my merry way. And then I wonder why I feel alone during the day, not in tune with God, not hearing His voice or feeling His hand on my life. It's in those times I realize my mistake. And I feel a gentle nudge in my soul. A reminder to be still in His presence. Yes, I can still talk and talk and talk. I can share my heart with the Lord, and ask for His guidance. But then I need to be quiet. To sit and clear my mind of everything else and focus entirely on Him. And the result of giving Him that time is amazing, because that's when our hearts combine and the closeness I crave is found. In the stillness of His presence. 

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7a

Protection

It was dark, oppressive. The woods made eerie sounds, sounds I didn't remember hearing in the light of day. My flashlight shook, and I nervously laughed a little, trying to keep the fear out of my voice: "I can't believe how dark it is!" My cousin laughed too, her eyes never leaving the woods beside her. A few of us had decided to go on a night walk around our grandparents' lake, on a two-track road. So, with flashlights in hand, and courage in our hearts, we had confidently started out. That was fifteen minutes ago. Now, almost halfway around, our courage was fading fast.

A crash sounded in the woods. All of our flashlights swung in the direction of the noise. I was scared. What in the world was THAT? I wondered. Wordlessly we huddled together, pointing our flashlights all around us. The first half of the lake road was pure darkness. There were no houses on this side. The second half was more populated, and they had outdoor lights. We just had to hang on a little bit longer.

Shaking a little, I peered into the trees beside me. I thought I could faintly hear footsteps in the leaves... and then CRASH! I jumped, and we took off running. The woods came alive behind us. We all ran screaming, trying to outrun who-knows-what. My cousin dropped her flashlight, and without thinking I stopped and turned to retrieve it, and saw my brother had stopped as well. We were standing directly under a light; we had made it to safety. But the thing in the woods was still coming. I panicked... do I run? Hide? Stay beside my brother, hoping we both can ward off this mysterious scariness? I didn't have time to make up my mind. The footsteps stopped, and two familiar faces stepped into the light. "Uncle Jeff? Charity?? It was YOU???" I was so shocked, and so relieved! I was absolutely sure it was something scary and sinister that it took a minute to register. I shook my head and laughed. They got us good.

Thankfully, that type of fear ended on a good note. We put ourselves in a situation to be scared, on purpose. However, when it comes to real fear, we have Someone who will stand up and protect us, no matter what the situation is. God wants our lives to be lived joyfully; He wants us to dream and hope. No fear, whether big or small, is too much for Him to handle. Let go. Just breathe, and let Him handle the rest. He created the world, He created you and me. His love for us started before we were born, and will never end. We can depend on Him to protect us into eternity.

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12

Overcome

I was scared to death. It was time to face my fear head-on. I took a deep breath and stood up, my legs trembling a little as I walked to the front of the class. I set my notecards on the small podium, looked at my classmates, cleared my throat, and began. "Exercise is an essential part of being healthy. And what's just as important is how to correctly stretch beforehand." Blank faces looked back at me. My hands shook a little as I continued. I had everyone stand up, and we performed the stretches together. I gave pointers and guidance on specific stretches to do in order to stretch out certain muscles. As I shared and we stretched, I began to relax. My nerves had calmed, and I was able to smile as I talked. A few minutes later, as I walked back to my seat and the next speech began, the feeling of excitement stayed with me. Overcoming my fear was a big step, and it instilled confidence in an area that I struggled with.

As Christians, we have an amazing way to cope with struggles and worries. When our legs shake and we can't keep our hands steady, all we have to do is look to Jesus. He is there, waiting for us to lean on Him, to hold on to His outstretched hand, and ask Him for His guidance and strength. He has promised never to leave nor forsake us. It's a promise we can hold on to, especially during times of disappointment and trial. And when we feel like giving up, that's when He holds us in His arms and reminds us that with Him, we can overcome anything together.

I love Mandisa's song "Overcomer." The lyrics are so encouraging and refreshing. 

"You're an overcomer

Stay in the fight 'til the final round

You're not going under

'Cause God is holding you right now

You might be down for a moment

Feeling like it's hopeless

That's when He reminds you

That you're an overcomer."

So hang in there. When the world gets tough, just remember Who holds you, and Who believes in you. He will always be your biggest fan.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33b

Nicodemus

They were covered in grime and dust. What they looked like underneath, I could not fathom. "If those jugs weren't so disgusting, I'd give one to my brother," I mentioned to my husband as I walked past them. Sitting on the floor with the rest of the old bottles and jars, the two jugs only stood out because of their size. I shook my head, and dismissed them. 

My husband, on the other hand, didn't. He picked one up and rubbed the side with his thumb. I halfheartedly looked his way, and then froze. I couldn't believe it. Where his thumb had been was a shiny, beautiful brown glaze. What in the world? I thought. My eyes locked with my husband's, and we were both a little startled. Maybe, just maybe, the jugs weren't a lost cause. A few minutes later, with a little elbow grease, the first jug was unrecognizable. A better word to describe it: Gorgeous. The second jug took a little longer to clean, but turned out just as amazing as the first. Pleasantly surprised is an understatement. I was thrilled. No longer did they look like junky, grimy, yucky things. With a little love, they were given a new life.

Nicodemus was a wealthy, highly educated man that lived during Jesus' time. He was respected as a teacher, was a member of the Sanhedrin, and was a descendant of Abraham. He believed Jesus was from God, and wanted to know more. But then came a part of Jesus' teachings he did not understand: Being born again. "'How can someone be born when they are old?' Nicodemus asked. 'Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother's womb to be born!'" Even though he was a teacher himself, he was thinking too literally, too simply. Like me with the jug, he couldn't think outside the box. Jesus had to explain it has nothing to do with physical birth, nothing to do with where we come from or to what our lineage looks like. It's what's inside our physical bodies that matters. It means giving ourselves to Jesus, and in turn being restored to Him and His kingdom. Being reborn. 

"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." John 1:12-13

Halfway Point

Just a quick check-in, since we are halfway through the alphabet, and an update on a change I'm making. I'll continue with "N" as soon as this is written.

Instead of a couple times during the week, I am going to be posting a new message every Monday. It will help with preparing for each message, and with homeschool right around the corner, busyness is going to ramp up to way higher levels than what it is already.

I'm going to be really transparent with what I'm saying next. The reason for this blog is to reach both believers and unbelievers. I have a very hard time telling people about my blog, because I don't ever want to seem like I'm tooting my own horn. So if you know someone who may benefit from reading anything on here, please pass it on. I'm going to look into ways to make it easier to find this blog, but until then, I'm relying on friends and family.

With all that said... On to "N"!!

Mercy

He was an outcast. His family had turned their backs on him, his town wanted nothing to do with him. Sleeping was almost impossible, with the oozing sores and scabs all over his body that would not heal. If anyone accidentally came near him, he had to yell out "Unclean! Unclean!" so they could avoid him. Caves became his home, and wild animals his only real company. He looked wild himself, being required by law to wear clothes of mourning, and to allow his hair to be wild and unkempt. It was a lonely life he lived. His memories of days past haunted him, days where he didn't feel the pain of his condition, or the pain of rejection. He would give anything to have someone look on him with something other than disgust and horror. 

Then he overheard passersby speak of a man named Jesus who had arrived in his hometown. They were talking about how Jesus had healed the sick, the lame, even the blind. If he could just get close to this man, maybe He would have pity on him, and would not shy away from him like everyone else did. So he took a chance. Since he was not allowed to come close to anyone, he slinked his way to the outskirts of town. And there He was... Jesus. Fearing rejection, he almost turned around, almost gave up the hope that was deep in his heart that this man could heal him. But he was exhausted from his journey and from the life he lived. His legs gave out, and he cried, "Jesus, have mercy on me!" 

Jesus turned to him. The look of tenderness on Jesus' face brought tears to the man's eyes. He made His way to this man, who had not felt human touch or human sympathy in a long time. Jesus opened His arms and held him like a father holds a hurting child, and healed his body from the sores and discolored skin. He not only healed the man on the outside, but on the inside as well. He gave him a new life. 

Our lives are precious to Jesus. He doesn't see the dirt and the grime, or the scars of battles we've waged in the past. He sees a lonely heart, and a beauty that is deep within. He has scars as well, evidence of His own battle, a battle He won. And because of this, we can have a new life, a life filled with contentment and joy. No more shame. No more guilt. No more rejection. All because of Jesus, and His wonderful mercy on our souls.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade." 1 Peter 1:3-4

Lazarus

It all started with a phone call. "Your grandma is not doing well. You probably should go see her as soon as you can. We'll meet you there." I panicked a little. This particular grandma was my dad's mom. Growing up, she would cook tons of food and feed us until we about burst. When our family would go visit, we'd stay up late chatting with my grandpa, and then around 5am, grandma would be up banging around in the kitchen. We'd raise our sleepy heads (their house was small, so we slept in every nook and cranny available), and she'd say, "Oh, you're up!" and then proceed to make coffee. As adults, my brothers and I would spend long weekends at her house. By that time, grandpa had passed away, and grandma spent her days going to dialysis and chatting with friends on her front porch. We'd play games and laugh until we cried, and grandma would sit in her chair and just watch us, and sometimes laugh with us. She was old school, so when we would say, "I love you, grandma!" she's say, "Okay" in her southern drawl. One of the last times I saw her at her house, I hugged her as I was leaving and said my usual, "I love you, grandma!" And she shocked me by saying, "I love you too." I could not believe it. As I was pulling out of her driveway, I burst into tears. I knew my grandma loved me, but just hearing her say it filled my heart with joy. 

My grandma died on Black Friday in 2010. We got there in time to see her and talk to her. When she breathed her last, it didn't really hit me. When we made funeral arrangements, it didn't hit me then either. During the viewing and funeral, I still couldn't wrap my head around it. But when the pall bearers walked her out to the hearse, it finally happened. My beloved grandma was gone. Cars pulled off the road on the way to the cemetery, which made me cry even more. They didn't know my grandma, but they respected those of us who did, and respected her in death. 

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were close personal friends of Jesus. So when the sisters sent word to Jesus about Lazarus' condition, they were sure He would not let them down. They truly believed if Jesus arrived, He would be able to heal Lazarus. But their hope was shattered when Jesus did not come. And when Jesus arrived four days after Lazarus was laid in the tomb, their hearts were broken. Jesus had a plan in place for raising Lazarus from the dead. He was going to use this time to glorify His Father. And it would cause dissension among the Jews who did not believe in Him, pushing along the plots to kill Him. But when he saw the sisters, and heard the grief in their voices, he was deeply moved. And in John, chapter 11, the shortest verse in the Bible is found: "Jesus wept." Even though He was going to bring Lazarus back from death, He loved Lazarus so much He wept for him. I truly believe His weeping was for the sisters as well, and their profound grief at losing their brother. But I'm sure the weeping turned to pure astonishment and joy when Jesus said, "Lazarus, come out!" and out walked their brother, alive and well.  

Mary and Martha grieved for Lazarus as ones with no hope. Their faith had been rocked by Jesus' delay. But He restored their faith and brought back the one they loved. And when Lazarus' final time came, I'm sure they knew they would see him again, fully restored and healthy. 

I miss my grandma. But I don't miss her as one who has no hope. My grandma accepted Christ as her Savior, so I know she is in Heaven. No more dialysis. No more back pain. No more weakness. I can't wait to see her again, and give her a hug and tell her I love her. 

Kiss

It was a beautiful summer day. I was running around laughing, my little six-year-old legs moving as fast as I could go. Brushing the flyaways out of my face, I ran toward the top of a hill, only to get tagged. In this game, when a person is tagged they must fall on the ground, close their eyes, and wait for someone to tag them back in. So I fell, and waited. It didn't take long before I heard someone running my way. I tensed, ready to spring up and run the second I felt the tag. But it didn't come. Instead I felt a kiss on my cheek. I immediately opened my eyes to see the back of my friend Joey racing away in the direction of his house. What just happened? I thought to myself. Sometime later, he gave me a little red mirror in the shape of a heart. I thought it was so nice, and didn't know the significance of it until a couple years later when I cleaned out one of my memory boxes. There it was, a little smudgy but intact. The reflection in it was older, but the memories were still there. I had kept it because he was my friend, and because we moved away shortly after he gave it to me. I smiled and set it aside. Time to let it go and allow it to bring someone else a little bit of happiness.   

Kisses are usually a symbol of love, affection, relationship, trust. When Jesus was born, I have no doubt His mother Mary gave Him kisses. He was her little one, her first child, the face of God Himself. I'm sure her motherly instincts, as well as her love for her Father in Heaven, compelled her to kiss His soft little cheek. 

There was another kiss that was given to Jesus, but it was a kiss of betrayal; a mark that symbolized the hatred of those who wanted to kill Him. They did not know it actually marked the beginning of what Jesus was destined for, a prophecy coming to life from centuries before Jesus was even born. The little baby Mary had held in her arms, the Son of the Most High God, was sent to die so that we could be free. His suffering, His pain, His horrible death on a cross and then rising again three days later gives us a glimpse of the love that God has for us. The kiss of death became a kiss of life. A life we can live in eternity with Him.

"Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life." John 5:24

Joseph

We were waiting patiently. Okay, there might have been a little toe-tapping, but we were kinda in a time crunch. Our objective: Buy a 50 gallon water heater. Our progress: Zip. Well, not exactly zip, but super close. "We have two," said the Menards worker, who looked partially bored while checking the stock on her phone. However, the majority of the water heaters were on a top shelf, and only Inspector Gadget could reach them (remember him? He had all kinds of cool... um... gadgets). Oh, and a lift. That's what we were waiting on. 

Forty-five minutes later, we walked out of the store, empty handed. The guys on the lift (who were more interested in impressing the girl workers) halfheartedly looked for our water heater, concluded it was not there (after looking at maybe two on the shelf of twenty-five), and went on their merry lift way. 

Being the optimistic people that we are, we decided to check out another Menards the next morning. But what did we find there? Under the 50 gallon propane gas water heaters were the horrible words, "Special Order." ARGH!! So we decided, after we got done pouting a little, that we would just replace our super old water heater with a 40 gallon model, which was the size of our original one anyway. But here's the cool part. Our new 40 gallon water heater, our second choice, fit where the old one was (which had sat in the same place for thirty-one years) perfectly. And I mean, perfectly. If we had bought the 50 gallon guy, my husband would have had to re-figure everything, including the gas line. A project that only took a half hour or so to hook up would have extended to at least half a day. Maybe longer. Buying the smaller version of what we had in mind was a blessing in disguise.

Joseph's blessings in disguise were a tad bigger than our water heater purchase. I mean, he had some pretty rough circumstances to overcome: Brothers who wanted to murder him but sold him to slavery instead; imprisoned for a crime he did not commit; forgotten by a fellow prisoner who was released with the help of Joseph; and interpreting a troubling dream for Pharaoh (which had to be a little scary!). The amazing part was God was in each situation. Joseph was sold to a man who put him in charge of his household and everything he owned. When Joseph was sent to prison, the warden put him in charge of everything prison-related. And when Pharaoh heard Joseph's interpretation of his dream, and saw that God was with him, he chose Joseph as his second-in-command, and put him in charge of the entire land of Egypt. Each trial, each test of his integrity and faith, ended in blessings for Joseph. There was no wallowing in self-pity, no woe-is-me. No questioning God's motives. Joseph knew God was there with him, walking beside him. His future was in God's hands, and that was enough for Joseph. 

I truly believe that God had worked out our Menards trips to end up exactly how they did. We realized that for some reason our 50 gallon plan was not meant to be, and it ended up that God was saving us a bundle of work and frustration. Because God is not a God of only the big miracles and big circumstances. He works in the everyday of life. I like to think that even the mundane things, like a long line at the grocery store, or a Sunday driver cruising at 40 on a 55 mph road, happen for a reason. With our lives in God's hands, setbacks could be blessings in disguise. We just need to trust in Him, the same God who took care of Joseph, and realize that He sees the bigger picture and will get us there. And that's good enough for me. 

"God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them." -John Piper

Irreplaceable

Growing up, there was a game I did not like to play: Operation. Bleck. It had nothing to do with the fact that a chubby, cartoonish-looking man was lying on an operating table. Or the openings all over his body, with an odd assortment of bones and weird objects (like a watering pail... and a wrench. Poor guy!). The part I was terrified of was trying to remove these "ailments" with tweezers. Okay, doesn't sound all that bad, right? Wrong!! One little slip, or wobbly move, and BUZZ!!!!! The sound and vibration of an electric current would scare the living daylights out of me!!

I had a weak moment a few years back, and almost bought the game at a garage sale. It was for memory sake, which seems a silly reason to buy this particular game, since I am scared to death of it (okay, that might be a little dramatic, but still...). I opened the box, only to find it was missing a piece. I can't remember if it was the wishbone, or the pencil in his arm... but that small thing saved me from buying this nerve-wracking game. I could have probably found something that would've worked, a replacement piece that would have fit the space just enough that the game could still be played. But I'd always know in the back of my mind that the game was incomplete. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be the same.

Our souls are not unlike that game.We have pockets that need filled, with love from family, acceptance from others, areas that push us to grow and learn. But there's a part of our soul that cannot be filled with something else. It's stronger than all the other areas, has a longing deep within that starts when we are young. We can try to fill it, distract it, ignore it. But the longing is always there, seemingly unquenchable. Until we meet Jesus.

Only Jesus can fill that longing in our soul. No one, or any thing, can replace where He is supposed to be. When we ask Him to be our Lord and Savior, the empty part of ourselves rejoices. It welcomes Him, knowing all along it needed Him. We are no longer missing a piece of who we are. We are complete. No replacement parts for us. We have the best of the best, living within us.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him."  Psalm 62:5

Heart

When you're little, things are way simple. No bills to pay (electricity was like magic), no suppers to cook (food just appeared on the table... all we had to do was help set plates and silverware!), no grocery list to tackle (I'll always think fondly of the day we ate peanut butter and jelly on saltine crackers because we were out of bread... it was a treat!). And as a 5-year-old, when I asked Jesus to live in my heart, that's where He was, in my heart-shaped heart. Always with me, protecting me and my family. 

Now as an adult, things aren't always so simple. A few years back, I was asked how I would talk to a child about being a Christian. So I shared how it was taught to me when I was little. It was apparently not the right answer. "A child would not know what it means to have Jesus in their heart. They would not understand how He could fit there." I remember looking at this person thinking, how sad. They proceeded to explain how I should go about it, using words I would need a dictionary to make sense of. I walked away from that conversation shaking my head, hoping this person would not run into an unsaved child. Their little eyes would glass over, and then they'd probably interrupt by asking why the sky is blue, and where the Easter bunny lives. 

As I've gotten older, I still like to think of Jesus in my heart, although my heart is no longer in a heart-shape. I envision Him in my soul, speaking through my conscience, and in gentle whispers in my heart. He is still always with me, my Protector for me and my family. One of my favorite hymns I sang as a child (and still love today) called "He Lives" puts it best:

"You ask me how I know He lives?

He lives within my heart." 

Amen.

"And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."  Romans 5:5

Guard

I'm a nerd. A Star Wars nerd, to be exact. Turn on an episode and I'm there, sitting on the floor cross-legged, eyes glued to the screen. I've seen them all a few times (except the old ones... I have them pretty much memorized), but cannot get enough of them. When I was kid, Darth Vader was super scary. And his stormtroopers were almost just as scary (for those who don't know what that is, they were dressed in white armor and thankfully couldn't shoot the broadside of anything). It was a never-ending fight between good and evil. And when the end did come (just this past December, with the very last episode), I cried. Yep, there's the nerd.

It all started with my crush on Luke Skywalker as a kid, and ended in the most amazing way, sacrificing oneself for another. The amazing part about it was the constant struggle the characters went through. With enticements to turn to both sides, they had to guard their hearts from the conflict within themselves. Good was enticed to the power of the dark, and evil was fighting against the light that was burning inside. It looked like evil was going to prevail, and then the great switch happened. The guarded heart of darkness gave in to the light. I wiped my tears with a sigh of relief, so glad it ended the way I thought it should: the good side won.

Paul said in Philippians, chapter 4, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I'm so thankful for that verse, that reminder. We do not have to guard our hearts by ourselves. The Creator of the universe stands guard, keeping the dark from getting in. And not only that, but He gives us peace, a calming that we are forgiven and loved. A cherished part of His family. With God, the good side will always win.

"He will guard the feet of his faithful servants, but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness."   1 Samuel 2:9

Falling

I shot my very first deer last hunting season. Honestly, I wasn't sure before the season started if I would be able to, because I love animals. Especially deer. They've got these big Bambi eyes and long delicate-looking legs. They are beautiful creatures. But, I got the fever, hunting fever. Being out in nature, waiting for a deer to walk by... it was exhilarating. And when I took that shot, I could barely stand still. I was so excited.

The non-exciting thing? My husband and I were hunting in the bottom of a ravine, too far from the main trail to drag it. So we had to go up, have it pulled about 200 feet to the top of the ravine to a trail above us. Not a bad deal. Except the incline was steep. And I'm scared of heights. Thankfully I was able to hold on to the rope that the deer was tied to, and slowly made my way to the top, the whole time praying that I wouldn't fall. 

Falling isn't always a bad thing. There are some great falling moments in life. Like falling in love. Or falling stars. Or even the taste of falling snowflakes during the first snowfall of winter. One of my favorites is falling into bed at the end of a long day. And then falling asleep. (haha! See what I did there? ;])

But life can throw us some curve balls. We lose a job, a spouse, a loved one. We try to keep moving, hoping things will get better. We busy ourselves with whatever we can get our hands on, just to keep from feeling the hurt, the loneliness, the pain. And that's when sheer exhaustion sets in, when getting up in the morning takes everything we've got.

It's in these moments that falling is okay. Falling is the best thing we can do. Because Jesus is standing right there, waiting for us to fall into His arms. We can cry, we can be hurt and angry. Or we don't have to say anything. He knows our hearts, He created our souls. He is the only one who can heal the parts of ourselves that we thought would never be restored. He can give us the gumption to get up in the morning, and add a spring to our step. Our joy can be new again. All we have to do is fall.

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does. The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." Psalm 145:13b-14

Everlasting

My childhood had a whole lot of fads. There was the rolled-bottom jeans, the ponytail on the side of the head. I remember wearing two pairs of socks at a time, both a neon color; buying two sets of earrings, and splitting them up with my best friend (one being a hoop and the other a stud... boy, were we cool!). Oh, and who can forget the big bangs? I mean, the higher the better! And boy those things could get really high. I put so much hairspray on mine that they were like a weapon on my head. I used to chase my dad around, and probably looked like a goofy unicorn.

One of my favorite things, and I wonder if they're still in existence, was the everlasting gobstopper. It was HUGE. It was white, with colorful speckles, and was the size somewhere between a golf ball and a baseball. I remember keeping it in a little sandwich bag in-between the times I tried to chip away at it, but eventually threw it away because I just couldn't finish it. It tasted great, but I kinda lost interest... I mean, it would take weeks to get that thing eaten. 

Thankfully fads, like my gobstopper, do not last forever. They come and go, changing so rapidly it's hard to keep track. And because of this, many people feel lost, behind the times, anxiously trying keep up with everything. They lose sight of One who can anchor them, One who does not change and who does stay the same: Jesus. He doesn't care about fads, or being cool. He cares about our hearts, our souls, our very beings. He will never leave, never disappoint or forsake us. He will always be with us, arms open wide, waiting. And that's something we can hold on to, as our world continues to change. An everlasting that really is everlasting.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."  Isaiah 9:6

Deuteronomy

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

These words were given by Moses, in a time when his people were soon to be led into the promised land. He would not be going with them, so he wanted to be sure they followed everything he had taught them: The laws and commands of God. But the one command he wanted them to remember, to impress upon their hearts, that would help them, was to love God with every part of themselves. And not only to remember it for their own sake, but to share this love of God with their children, who would share it with children of their own. 

You see, loving the Lord when things are going right is easy. But if our love is not rooted in our hearts, that love can turn to bitterness toward God when times get tough. God knew how hard it would be for His people to keep the commands He had in place without Moses to remind them. So Moses made sure they knew how important it was for them to love God with everything they have: heart, soul, and strength.

 

Over a thousand years later, Jesus is asked: Of every commandment, what is the most important? His answer? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30) Sound familiar? In loving God with everything we have, we will have His strength to get us through. We will hear His gentle whisper in our souls guiding us. Our heart will align with His. And I can't think of anything better than my heart beating alongside the heart of the One who loves me so much.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

 

Condemnation

Adam and Eve. Ancestors to all mankind. They were made in the image of God, to live their lives in peace and comfort, given everything they needed: Food in a beautiful garden, animals that Adam himself named, companionship with each other and with God. There was no fear, no worry, no death. There was just one rule to follow: Don't eat from one specific tree. Not that hard, right? Goodness, there were most likely hundreds of trees in the garden, all different shapes and sizes, some with flowers, some with fruit. Following that rule should have been a no-brainer.

We all know how that story ends. The serpent tricks Eve, Adam follows suit, fear and shame set in, the blame game ensues, and God casts them out of Eden. Before He does so, He explains the penalty to their disobedience: Pain in childbearing and pain in working the land, with thorns and thistles being introduced to the ground. Their beautiful beginning was transformed into pain, death, and finally, dust.

No longer would they walk side-by-side with God in His garden. No longer would He delight in their company, pleased with His creation. The path He created for them was simple and beautiful. But then they decided to take a different path, a path that led to terrible consequences: Guilt, shame, separation from the closeness they felt with their God. No longer did they see a future full of joy and contentment. They were now condemned to die.

But then a new story begins. A Child is born in Bethlehem, tiny and innocent. He is the Messiah, who Himself will also be condemned to die. But His story ends differently. With His death comes life. He paid the penalty for any and every sin we have committed and will commit. He rose from the grave, so that we may live a life full of joy and contentment once again. Adam was the beginning of man, but his life and his decision was not the final call. God showed His infinite mercy in sending His Son to die for us. And Jesus rose again, so that we can once again walk side-by-side with the One who created us. 

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."  Romans 3:23-24

Barabbas

The crowd had to make a choice. Two prisoners stood in front of them. One was standing quietly, not speaking, patiently waiting. The other was arrogant, disrespectful, jeering at the crowds below where they both stood. One had taught of love, how to turn from sin and receive forgiveness. He brought hope to the world. The other was full of hate, and mocked the Roman Empire. He had committed murder; he had taken a life in the name of his own cause.

The choice to free one of these two prisoners should have been easy. This man would walk their streets, shop in their marketplaces. He would be around their children. But there was no voice of reason in the crowd. The decision had already been made: They wanted the killer, the man who wanted to overthrow the government. They wanted Barabbas.

Little did the crowds know that their decision to free Barabbas fulfilled what had been written in Isaiah 700 years earlier. Because in freeing him, it meant the other prisoner, Jesus of Nazareth, would be crucified. Jesus Christ, the Messiah, was now on a path to die. 

And He did. But before that, He was beaten, spit on, and mocked. He collapsed while carrying the cross that would eventually kill Him. His head bled from the "crown" of thorns the soldiers had placed there. A written notice hung on the cross that said, "The King of the Jews." And as He hung there, struggling to breathe, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34a). His love and compassion for the world, even those who took part in hanging Him on the cross, never waivered. He died in our place, for our sins, so that we could be saved.

Barabbas. Because his life had been spared, Jesus was able to fulfill what God had planned for Him: To die in exchange for our sins, to save our souls, even the soul of a scoundrel like Barabbas. Whether he turned his life around or not is not recorded in the Bible. But because of his freedom, we now have freedom in Jesus. 

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."    Isaiah 53:5

Atonement

"I'm sorry." Those two little words can be the beginning of wonderful things. They could comfort a hurt, mend a friendship, even change someone's life. When I was growing up, just a quick "I'm sorry" would not be enough. Mom would ask, "What are you sorry for?" I remember thinking, But Mom! You know what I'm sorry for! Do I have to actually say it? I struggled with it, but would find a way to choke out the offense, which was painful to admit. And honestly, painful to hear.

Mom's question taught me a big lesson. Now, I do my best to always explain the why behind my sorry's. It means more. It shows that I've put thought into it, and want to make things right. I'm not saying it's easy; it can be downright hard to admit when I've said something wrong or had a "dummy moment." But it's worth it, worth setting down my pride and admitting my mistake. Because after the "I'm sorry" comes the mending and repairing. 

What amazes me is what Jesus did for us. Jesus never sinned. He never had to apologize. He suffered and died, knowing that His life would save us from our mistakes, from our sins. He knew, even as He was dying, that we would still have moments we would regret, and things we would need to apologize for. But He did it anyway because He loves us so much. Talk about true atonement. 

"... he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."  Hebrews 2:17-18

A-Z

Okay, so I know we all know the alphabet. As little ones, we mimicked others around us, learned how to say "hi" and "mama" before we knew what the alphabet was.

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher used a newer curriculum (now vintage...yikes!!)  to teach her fidgety little students. There was Miss A, known for her "a, a, a, a choo" and Mr. B, who was made of beautiful buttons. But my all-time favorite was Mr. T (known for his incredibly tall teeth), because at that time there was an eccentric celebrity with the same name (as he explained in an old 80's sitcom, "First name: Mister; middle name: period; last name T'"). He had gold chains and a mohawk. And he was awesome. 

All that to say, my blog posts are going to star a letter of the alphabet, beginning with Miss A. Err, I mean, the letter A. But I will warn you ahead of time: Not all subjects will be easy ones. I just hope and pray that this blog will be an encouragement, for you and for me. Because I'm not doing this alone. I'm a Christian, a daughter of the King. I will never say that I'm anywhere near perfect. But, I strive to be like Christ, and with Him by my side, we can do anything. 

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

Until next time! Make this day amazing! :)